Earlier today, I thought to myself, "Hm. I have nothing to blog about. Maybe something interesting will happen when I get home."
My blogging topic arrived in the mail encased in a shiny red package.
'Twas a mysterious article of clothing. A scarf, to be exact, which I had not paid for or ordered in any way.
Weirdly enough, the only University that's bothered to toss an acceptance letter my way, decided to butter me up with some swag. I mean, they don't know they're the only ones, so I suppose they think they're competing, but at this point... they're really not. There's a comparison involving dating to be made here, but I haven't done enough of that to nail it down.
This happens to be at the bottom of my list as far as potential schools, (I mean, that doesn't mean much, since I only applied to schools that I have a genuine interest in... I DON'T GOT TIME FOR "SAFETY" SCHOOLS!!!! ahem.) but I'm a liar if it didn't feel freaking awesome to feel important and wanted.
The one thing that sucks is the weird duality of telling the incident of the scarf (and wearing the scarf, being me, requires me to tell the story), is how to go about not being obnoxious. I could downplay the exciting-ness of it all because frankly, it isn't all that exciting. This is a college I'm probably not going to attend, with some "famous" sports teams I really don't follow, and the scarf was a symbol of a scholarship I'd already been notified about. I did my celebrating then, and I don't really want congratulations for it. It's not false humility; it's just that sometimes I feel guilty about how many good things happen to me. I'm extraordinarily blessed, and I know college acceptance is this really sensitive and stressful thing to a lot of people, and I'm not terribly interested in/excited about a school that many many people are passionate about makes me feel weirdly guilty.Alternatively, I could make a big ol' freaking deal about the scarf. A University wants me to attend their school so so badly that THEY SENT ME FREE CLOTHING. WHAT?! THAT'S FRIGGEN AWESOME! I feel like a professional athlete getting offers from different teams! I'm so gosh darn important I should hold off on "officially" picking a place to learn to see how much swag I can bleed outta these people! Wow. This feels wonderfulamazingsauce yay!
Not only does that approach run the risk of sounding completely ridiculous with my over-inflated ego, remember: it's also not a big deal. They sent this scarf to every student who was an in-state applicant and met certain grade requirements. It wasn't because I'm an outstanding individual or anything. In reality, it's a pretty clever market scheme. Glorified advertising, nothing more and nothing less.
Since the college mail phenomenon (the flattering postcards from universities who get your name/address one way or another) started my junior year, I've been excessively annoyed with my peers. Many of the students of my high school got really competitive about who-got-mail-from-whom, and shared such information obsessively on social media. So of course, come senior year, my newsfeed is clogged with constant I GOT ACCEPTED HERE!!! and the like. It drives me absolutely nuts. I know I have little to worry about because even if I get three rejection letters in the future, I still have a pretty fantastic school to go to. But when my dream schools have done little besides promise an "early April" decision date, it's hard to not get jealous/anxious when my peers get to make concrete plans for the future a lot earlier.
Jealousy eats away at the soul, man. Sometimes I feel like Facebook/Twitter only exist to create more of that discontentedness in me, and it drives me crazy. But when I spend a crazy amount of time thinking about every piece of information I share, especially about college stuffs, and how it will affect different groups of people and getting incredibly hurt when something I say is taken the wrong way, is it too lofty to ask a smidgen of courtesy from my peers? We're all anxious and ;adlsfjka;ld. Am I being over-sensitive? DEFINITELY.
All-in-all, this is a cozy-ass scarf. I mean, we're talking high-quality knitting.
Plus it striped.
I freakin' love stripes.
Screw it.
I'm wearing the scarf.
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| *toss toss* haters, you know where to go (~da left~) |
"But when I spend a crazy amount of time thinking about every piece of information I share, especially about college stuffs, and how it will affect different groups of people and getting incredibly hurt when something I say is taken the wrong way ..."
ReplyDeleteTHIS. I feel you.
On the one hand, it's common courtesy. On the other hand, when other people don't extend the same to you, it's hard not to want to be proud of your accomplishments in their face as well (especially when often times -- your accomplishments are better. hehe.) Being the bigger person sucks sometimes.
Hello Abby it's Colin! I'm in eighth grade and everything that you've ever done in your life (everything expressed in your vlogs and blogs) i picture myself doinv in the distant future. Your four years away from me so I dont have to worry about everything you mentioned. I don't even know what my reaction to this blog even is! I can't relate to it! I'm having trouble because I picture me as you. A lot if things you mentioned in this i can't relate to
ReplyDeleteI guess that I'm not a koalateahumanbean! i feel like im not living up to any standards at all! i feel sad.
I wish I could throw in my two cents about this whole college subject, but I really have nothing to add on the matter. So I'll just be that person who tells you that you totally pull off dat scarf. Mm.
ReplyDeleteLOL Before I read this entry, I thought "That's not a Hogwarts house colour! Where is it from?" It's a lovely scarf.
ReplyDelete