BEDD #11: Hatred and Haterz

• I was going to write this long, interesting blogpost that summed up this grand, important lesson of high school-ness that I was finally able to articulate today.
• And then some not-so-fun stuff happened and I got dragged right back into the negative-immaturity-cycle that I was going to write about getting out of.
• I realized the similarity between these thoughts and Study Hall Rambles already on this blog.
• I pondered how, at age seventeen, it's tempting to paint my story with broad strokes. I want to mess up, learn a lesson, and be happy. Real life, however, is rarely that simple.
• I'm learning the same lessons over and over again. It sucks.
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• The lesson is two-fold: Hatred isn't worth your time, and never NEVER let the haters keep you from doing your thang. (Also spell the word "thing" correctly if you ever hope to be taken seriously.)
• I've been spending a lot of my time/energy holding grudges. You know what those grudges accomplished? A lot of pain. And who suffered from that pain? Me, and in one instance, those I love. Never did any of the grudg-ees (people I was holding grudges against) suffer from the fantastic amount of hatred I was harboring toward them.
• I wrote a sentence very similar to the previous one in an essay last spring. Here I am, relearning. Again and again and again and again andddd
• The people I am going to have to forgive don't deserve forgiveness. They never will. And that's the thing about forgiveness, true forgiveness, I have to give it anyway. 
• AND MAN IS IT HARD.
• There are moments of light, of course, but it's not like letting go of a balloon. I don't get to watch this grudge float away and get to start on the rest of my perfect-bright-shiny life now. It's something I am going to have to choose to do on a near-daily basis.
• It's not easy. It's better.
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• And as far as the haters... Just whip your hair back and forth. 
• If you have to make a playlist of Glee songs from the first few seasons (back in the good ol' days :'( ) and belt some show tunes, DO IT. You'll be amazed.
• For some reason, I thought bullet points would give the illusion of the coherent thought I'm not capable of at the moment. Because I'm interested in blogging in fairness, this was a spurt-out-in-a-few-minutes type thing because I actually had a really productive night homework-wise. I highly doubt I'll say that again for awhile.