BEDD #2: My Complicated Relationship with Spiderman

Pidahhhman pidahhhman does whatever a... yeah.
Yesterday, as I mused at the end of the entry, I ended up renting The Amazing Spiderman instead of Marvel's Avengers. Twas a good choice.
Andrew Garfield's butt= FIVE STARS.
I should elaborate. Yesterday, I hinted that I had a childhood trauma involving spiderman. Basically, when the first Tobey Maguire movie was released, I was eight years old and my dad thought it was a grand idea to take the whole family to the movie theatre. My sister might've liked Spiderman at the time? Or my dad? My memories are quite hazy, beside the very vivid image of singing the Spiderman theme song with my dad in his Volvo driving to the theater. I consider that moment the final bright shining moment of joy in my childhood because after that, everything went to crap.
I don't know what it was about Spiderman, but everything about that movie scared the pants off eight-year-old me. I sat in the darkened room, and though I was perfectly aware that Spiderman, Mary Jane, and the Green Goblin were simply flashing lights on a glorified piece of fabric, they burned themselves into my impressionable mind. I couldn't sleep that night, and many nights after. My dreams were plagued with visions of spiderwebs and red spandex. Even my waking hours were haunted by images of Green Goblin on his for-some-reason-terrifying hover board thingy. Did he have a scary voice too? I think he had a scary voice.
Pre-adolescent me always overreacted to movies; I blame it on my overactive imagination. (Ask my mother about my feelings about Nightmare Before Christmas sometime. Recounting my all-consuming fear of that vhs tape is one of her favorite ways to embarrass me.) I didn't watch "scary" movies-- scary meaning anything except comedies-- until I was well into my teens. The Chucky and Saw movies haunted my nightmares after simply walking past the posters at the movie theater.
I maintain that there was something legitimately terrifying about the Spiderman of 2002. Now, this is a very difficult theory to prove because I've yet refused to rewatch the movie. Or watch any of its sequels. In fact, I had subjected myself to no Spiderman-related media since the Toby Macguire incident of 2002 until last night. I used to even make my sister change the channel when Spidey cartoons came on Saturday mornings. I HATE SPIDERMAN.

Reasons Spiderman is Terrifying to an Eight-Year-Old:

1. Spiders. It's a guy who has the powers of THE MOST TERRIFYING CREATURE ON THE PLANET. I would take a bat, a wolverine, a cat, etc., over a spider any freaking day. Spiders are terrifying, why would you give the protagonist of your story the powers of a creepy crawly?!
2. Green Goblin is the scariest fricken thing ever. I just google-image searched it to double check I was remembering the movie right, and I'm going to have nightmares again. There's a nook in my house that gets realllyyy dark and creepy and night, and I can point to you the exact spot where I would visualize his stupid floating hovering device. He was haunting my house and he was going to kill me.
3. The whole upside-down kissing scene just looks painful when you're eight. In fact, I just looked it up on Youtube and it still looks like potential awkward accidental teeth action.
4. This may be repetitive, but webs. WEBS. He's slinging around the city on these webs that shoot out from his freaking wrist, and jUST LEAVING THEM THERE. The people of New York thank you, Spiderman, because now they can experience that holy-crap-I-just-walked-through-a-spider-web feeling ON A DAILY BASIS. That is the worst fricken feeling in the world ;alkdfjads;lkfjadls and even at age eight I knew how inconsiderate he was being. I understand this doesn't make the movie terrifying, but shhhhhh I'm running out of arguments.
5. There was undoubtedly suspenseful chase scenes in that movie. I couldn't handle my emotions during suspenseful sequences until at least age 14.

Before you call child services retroactively to report my father for taking me to see this film, realize that I was a very, very, very emotional child. And that my father now pays for the television service that allowed me to rent the gloriousness that was The Amazing Spiderman: Andrew Garfield's Fantastic Bottom (that's the full title, right?) last night. It truly was glorious. He is very, very, very good looking, and besides the few really cheesy THIS WAS RELEASED IN 3D camera angles/shots, the film had a nice look to it. The holy-crap-I'm-spiderman sequences were fantastic (subway scene and skateboard montage), and the romance scenes were so full of chemistry and wonderfullness that even my shriveled Grinch heart ached with the oozing adorable. Andrew Garfield genuinely seemed like a teenager and Emma Stone... did her best! She's far too pretty to pass for seventeen unfortunately, but her performance was spot on. Sally Field was also unexpectedly brilliant. 

Before I end this blog post, I have to thank all of my commenters and lovely followers! When I mentioned that I didn't think many people would read this blog, I swear I wasn't fishing for compliments. (My friend Abby ((yes we're both named Abby, no she is not imaginary)) was just over and made fun of me to balance out the people being nice to me. Also she insisted I mention her in this post because I wrote the majority of it in her presence. Hi Ro.)A few of you mentioned you're doing BEDD as well, and I did my best to follow most, if not all, of you. If anyone else decided to take up my challenge with me, please comment and I'll follow you~

Days Left of BEDD: 29
College Apps Finished: 4/4!!! I'm done!

College Decisions received: 1/4 Bleh.

"Freaking," "Freakin," or "Fricken" in this post: Too Many

Chicken Nuggets Consumed: Too Many

People Who Really Need To Finish Their Homework and Go To Sleep: Me

People Paranoid About Incorrect Comma Use in This Post: Also Me....

Oh well. GOOD NIGHT!